Local parents and educators are abuzz as the Riverside Springs School District has boldly introduced a ‘Reverse Psychology’ curriculum. The untested program officially encourages students to ditch assignments, abandon studying, and forgo test prep. Announced at a recent school assembly, Principal Anita Sabbatical stated, “Homework is now optional for the entire student body. In fact, we prefer if you didn’t do it at all. Really, don’t bother.”
This radical approach is the latest in series of innovative, controversial teaching methods to boost academic performance via psychological warfare. Yet to date, none have proven effective. The school year began with a Fear Of Missing Out curriculum where lessons were infused with gossip and scandalous details about teachers and school administrators. Next, teachers were encouraged to employ gaslighting techniques to question students’ recollection of due dates and test scores.
“We’ve experimented with dropping job trend propaganda via drones across campus as well as the sunk cost fallacy reminding students how much they’ve already invested in their education,” quipped Board Chair Dr. Hera Contrary. She added, “We even tried ringing different tones before each class to see if students could be conditioned to feel hungry for knowledge versus food but teachers complained that the noise was too disruptive.”
Surprisingly, the new curriculum has seen early success with homework completion rates and test scores skyrocketing. Students have doubled down on their studies, fearing unpreparedness for future academic and life challenges. “It’s as if the administration have just given up on any kind of plan,” said senior Barry Confused. “We trusted them to guide us into our future…now we have to do it ourselves.”
Critics of the previous methods cited ethical concerns and mixed results. English teacher Mr. Victor Loophold served as the spokesperson for a group of anonymous teachers unhappy about the questionable methods. “We went along with the administration’s agenda until the social proof experiment where everyone pretended to understand quantum physics because ‘all the cool kids get it,'” stated Mr. Loophold. “Look, you can psychologically manipulate the students all you want but we draw the line at social engineering.”
Announced at a recent school assembly, Principal Anita Sabbatical stated, “Homework is now optional for the entire student body. In fact, we prefer if you didn’t do it at all. Really, don’t bother.”
The success of the new curriculum seems to have quieted dissent. Many educators across the district are secretly attending workshops on advanced reverse psychology tactics, preparing for the next wave of pedagogical sport. Some parents though have expressed concern over the curriculum’s long-term viability. To this, Principal Sabbatical has responded, “Oh, we expect students to rebel against this any day now and stop doing homework altogether. That’s totally what we want,” her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Beyond the classroom, the school board has initiated an ambitious parent and community outreach program to join the experiment. “We’re inviting parents to definitely not help with homework and to absolutely avoid discussing future academic paths with their children,” announced Dr. Contrary at a town hall meeting. “We’d hate for you to engage in meaningful dialogue with your kids about their schoolwork. You’re all so busy – please, spare yourselves the trouble,” as parents munched on cookies cryptically iced with algebraic formulas.
Arlington Hewes